The idea that a relationship should be 50/50 is a good one on the surface. In reality though, it should be 100/100. Most people only give what they have to, what they can get by with giving. Others give entirely too much, carrying the entire load on their fragile back trying not to lose a person who hardly wants to be there.
That love: the unrequited, the underappreciated and overcompensating comes from a deeper place. It is a cry and a search for validation. “I will give you everything and all I ask is you give me in return the things I need” But those needs are the bare minimum. You should not have to run yourself into the ground for someone to stick around and value you for all the incredible and unique things that you are.
These relationships have . You give 100% always tying to get what you deserve and they give a sliver to get the things they do not deserve. It is a vulnerable place to be in. On the outside it looks ridiculous. We live in a strange society where this vulnerability is seen as a weakness, you know, “a pick me, a simp, a clown” Are they though? Is it fair to taunt a person whose only fault is giving the right kind of love to the wrong kind of person.
Take care and until next time,
Most people fall into these relationships trying to appease their inner child, the one neglected by parents, bullied in school, conditioned to believe they have to fight tooth and nail to make someone love them. It is definitely a faultless imperfection that will continue in cycles and for generation if it is never addressed. There is a deep danger in loving too much, blindly and most of the time with far too much allegiance to another human being. No one should ever allow you to love them more then you love yourself and that included you not allowing it either. We all know that “how you love yourself is an example to other of how to love you”. Never run yourself into insanity trying to make a person love you but overcompensating love in a relationship because that same love you are trying so hard to give, you are worth receiving. And if you need a reminder here is a poem I wrote about it.
Take care and until next time, Cass.
You deserve a love that complements you not completes you.
A love that wants you as much as you want it not one that conveniently needs you.
A love that you never have to question if it’s real or if it will up and leave you.
A love that finds you as you are flaws and all and never tries to change you.
You deserve a love so profound and true you won’t sit in fear wondering if it will break you.
Because that love you’re trying so hard to give, you’re worth recieving.
You deserve a love that leaves you dancing with life not one that leaves you silently grieving.
You deserve to find that love within yourself before you can find it in or give it to anyone else
It comes from inner healing.
Find that first and know your worth because that same love you are trying so hard to give…
You are worth recieving.
C. M Edwards poetry