My mind is always racing, I often refer to it as NASCAR. I have a thought and in the next moment it is gone but I know it will eventually come back around. There are many things I wish to achieve in this life. I want to be a poet, I am a poet. I want to be a writer, I am a writer. The things I dream of seem to just be dreams. Sometimes I think, if I dream about them hard enough the will come to life but we all know that is not how life works. I want many things in this world, I am stuck in my head though.
I keep waiting. I have spent much of my life waiting for my dreams to come to life. I am recently learning about conflict resolution and critical thinking two important concept in getting from where you are to where it is you would like to be. I know what I want but I am only learning what it takes to get there. If I want to be a writer then I should simply just write yes? Well I do but then I close my notebook or my Samsung notes and those words sit there unbeknownst to the world. I am a writer but I am the only one who knows it, I am the only one who reads my words.
Fear is an awful prison of the mind we can find ourselves confined in. When I write my words, with passion and authenticity, but the thought of publishing them seems fraudulent. “Impostor syndrome” it can be labeled as I suppose. So, then I think to myself maybe I am not a writer, perhaps I should just settle for something else and that thought frightens me far more. Giving up before trying is much worse than trying and maybe failing.
Here I am, not finished with my English degree, not in the perfect place in my life where my dreams are “allowed” to begin but starting them anyway. I am letting all these words out for the first time and I am afraid but that is alright as I am also human. I want to be a poet, I am a poet. I want to be a writer, I am a writer. I manifest this and anyone chasing a dream should manifest theirs as well. We can think about it and fantasize about it all day but until our brains go numb with self doubt or we can do it just as every dreamer before us has. Whatever it is you are dreaming of, you are already it!
Take care until next time,