Hey Hey!! I’ve been trying to get on here and post for a few days now but ya know, life! Tomorrow is Sunday and will be 60 days sober for me. I am beyond excited about it. My face is clearing up and honestly glowing a bit which makes me smile. Sleep is still tricky, some nights I’m out like a light by 11 pm and others I’m watching Ellen clips on YouTube until 3 am. I am so comfortable being alone at home now and actually look forward to the time I get with myself to reflect on things at the end of my day, I’m finding balance as well, sometimes I want to spend extra time with people and sometimes I just wanna chill alone. My biggest obstacles this week were dealing with outside stress from friends and family, I get so wound up whenever I’m in confrontation with those close to me I become drastic, Like, (“I’m gonna move to another city and never speak to anyone again!!”) drastic. It came down to really having to allow myself to distance myself from anyone who is a threat to my sobriety, as an emotional drinker I have to be very careful of what I let in right now and that’s okay.
“The obsession”, ads for alcohol are really triggering for me. I spent one Saturday unable to get the thought of taking shots of liquor out of my head after seeing an ad for Crown Royal on Instagram, it was rough, I felt so overwhelmed and had to reach out to my support system a few times that day for support. I even cried for letting a 30 second ad throw me for such a loop. Once I make it through these rough days though I feel even more empowered to keep pushing forward, I know I am still in a fragile place and I am taking all the precautions to stay strong. Despite all the annoying things, I am so happy every day I wake up and go to bed sober (even if it’s at 3 am lol). I am happy knowing I can handle things I said I couldn’t just a couple months ago without alcohol. Progress not perfection, I still have a long way to go!!
Until Next Time,
Cass ❤